According to the latest World Health Organization report, the sun kills 60,000 people each year. I, for one, was shocked to learn this. No doubt it is America’s responsibility to respond with merciless force against this luminous terrorist threat, just like we did with that crappy old moon:
Monthly Archive for July, 2006
This past weekend, I sat down to work on my new DJ mix in Ableton Live and instead ended up creating the basis for a new song! Waaa-hey! It’s not ready yet (I’d forgotten how much work goes into producing original music), but when it is you will be the first to know. The only hint I’ll give you about it is that it’s a techno/house track about alligators fucking.
I haven’t abandoned the new mix by any means, but since my archives runneth over I’ve decided to release an old one back into the wild in the meantime. This mix originally aired on March 28, 2002 as part of my The Sound of Confusion programme on the WNUR Rock Show. The noise addicts among you should be particularly interested in the last half-hour, where we travel to Jupiter and beyond the infinite inside the collective mind of three alligators fucking (as witnessed by an Israeli soldier on leave from killing innocent Palestinians, then later recounted here by his Hezbollah concubine).
The foundations I laid this weekend for my new song led me to think that if you like my mixes, you’d like my songs. The Diary of a Subcultural Refugee podcast will now not only include past and present DJ mixes, but also past and present songs I’ve made. First from the song archives is a hard techno track I made under the name No Love. It’s called “You Make Me Feel Cheap” and gives a stiff kick in the groin to all the haters.
All my audio is hosted at odeo.com. Stream it here or there or download the mp3s for future reference:
The Sound of Confusion, March 28, 2002
No Love – “You Make Me Feel Cheap”
A person’s web surfing history often provides a better window into the soul than their eyes. I’m not sure which of these soul windows I’m opening the shutters on with this article, but 1:00 a.m. last night found me wondering who the person is that performs the monologue about the word “motherfucker” on DJ Assault’s track “U Can’t Stop Us”, the song that precedes “Mista Muthafucka” in the collection I have. And as with all things that I wonder about in the middle of the night, I asked Google.
Google didn’t have any answers, but to my surprise a Wikipedia entry on DJ Assault came up. I guess I just didn’t expect ghettotech to have much of a presence in something so seemingly official and mainstream. Then I remembered that, of course, anyone can edit and create articles on Wikipedia – such is the collaborative spirit of the wiki! Someone hip to the D-town beats must have diligently been making entries in the hopes of spreading the gospel of funk.
Once I followed the link in my search results, I found that the entry was pretty piss-poor: just a three-sentence biography, a partial discography, a section entitled “criticism” and a handful of external links. Wait, hang on – criticism? That piqued my interest so I settled in for the hardy read provided by its one whole sentence, “DJ Assault has been criticized by many for his misogynistic attitude and low-quality rhymes.”
Huh. One line of criticism like this in the face of three lines of biography kind of boils the entire article’s message down to “DJ Assault: shitty rapper that hates women”. Where’s the praise section? How could they leave out vital tidbits like “DJ Assault has created myriad dope beats known to have shaken booties worldwide” or “DJ Assault’s brand of ghettotech masterfully mixes hyperactive broken beats with repetitive lyrics about what really moves everything around me: ass and titties”?
My frustration quickly gave way, as it often does, to mischievousness. I couldn’t sit idly on the collaborative internet sidelines and let some pseudo-encyclopedia talk shit about a man that’s brought so much fun into my life. Since anyone can edit wiki articles, I decided to set the record straight by changing the criticism line to read, “DJ Assault has been criticized by many for his misogynist attitude and low-quality rhymes. These critics have, however, recently been found to be bitches, a discovery that will undoubtedly lead to them getting theys mouths blew out.”
I thought it was funny. Well, at least it provided me with some lulz whilst sitting in front of my computer at 1:30 a.m. And if my dad taught me anything when I was growing up, it was the importance of making yourself laugh. Ideally you can make others chuckle too, but failing that, at least try to give yourself a smile ‘cos there’s enough things out there in this rough-and-tumble world ready to stop you from doing even that.
The next morning I discovered that while I happily laughed at my own joke (and sang the lyrics to “Mouth Blew Out” in my head), a Wikipedia administrator named Conrad Devonshire did not. I awoke to find an admonishing note from Mr. Devonshire that read, “Please do not add nonsense to Wikipedia. It is considered vandalism. If you would like to experiment, use the sandbox. Thank you.”
A few things:
- * I do like to experiment, but I haven’t been in a sandbox since the age of 8 (yes, I know, a pity, really).
- * Since when was vandalism so wrong? Most of the art that I dig comes from vandals.
- * I didn’t post nonsense, I posted fact. These critics of DJ Assault have indeed since been revealed not only as bitches, but also haters, and if they don’t watch it they may get they mouth blew out. (Geez, I was just being nice and warning them!)
Wondering who died and made Thurston Howell III overlord of the online democracy, I clicked on the convenient link to his profile that he provided in his note. There’s enough ammunition in it for me to devote an entire fascist online encyclopedia to it, but I’ll just note the best bits here and encourage you to read the rest for yourself:
- * He was born in Texas. (Sorry Texas readers, yes, some of you are cool but for the most part your state is chocked-full of douchebags and the other 49 of us wish you would have never joined the union in the first place.)
- * He is proud of his Roman Catholic heritage.
- * He was born in 1989 and is currently in high school.
- * Although he spent his formative years in Japan where his dad worked as an English teacher, he is proud of not knowing any Japanese.
- * He believes that “so-called ‘feminism’ has destroyed much of the appeal that the female sex once had”.
- * He is “in many ways… ultraconservative”.
- * He is “fond of Great Britain and the British Isles” and “sometimes spell[s] words in the British dialect of English”. (I’m sorry, Conrad, but that makes you a moron. I once spelled words according to their UK spelling… when I worked as a fucking secretary in London! If you’re in America, spell American. And shoot things.)
- * He thinks that “vandals are fools”.
- * He is still a virgin, but longs to be active in the furry community.
Okay, so I made that last one up (maybe), but the rest are all true! Who spends age 17 listening only to classical music, worshipping Jesus and valiantly fighting vandalism on the internets? I thought no one, but thankfully Conrad Devonshire is out there keeping the world safe, one ghettotech DJ wiki page at a time.
Now what are you waiting for? Befriend your inner vandal and get out there and give Conrad some work to do!
Related Links:
Conrad Devonshire’s Wikipedia User Page
Jefferson Ave: Home of DJ Assault’s Accelerated Funk
Upon entering the Town Hall Pub at 3340 N. Halsted, I was greeted by a big friendly guy checking IDs at the door. Upon paying him the $5 cover charge and entering the main room of the pub, I was greeted by a rather intense smell. I think it was a mixture of body odor, cigarettes and booze, though it was definitely body odor that rose to the top of that fragrant blend. I joke about dirty hipsters a lot, but man, these were some dirty fucking hipsters. Like, they-needed-a-shower dirty. Or a can of Axe. Or at least a Glade Plug-In behind the bar.
Once I got some bourbon in me, everything became more pleasing to the senses, except for the balding white rapper finishing up his shtick on stage. His glittery white unitard revealed the outline of his package, while his delivery revealed that irony wasn’t dead, just really trite and cringeworthy. Yeah, dude, we get that you think hip-hop is laughable and you write wack rhymes and dress in a silly outfit to drive that point home. We got that after like 2 minutes, so that should have been the length of your set, not a full half-hour.
Next up was Ecstatic Sunshine, the band I came to see. They’re soon to have an album out on my friend Todd’s label, so I wanted to see what the fuss was about. When I mentioned that I’d let him know if I ended up writing about the gig, he informed me that writing about a band on a friend’s label would be a conflict of interest: I’d be a biased reporter, not giving you a fair musical scoop. I don’t really see myself as a music reporter with this blog, but I also see his point and respect his integrity. In the interest of compromise then, I’ll skip over reviewing their set in any depth. I’ll just say I really dug it and that my recommendation comes totally on the IMHO, yo.
I was about to leave after Ecstatic Sunshine’s set, but Todd urged me to stay and check out some of the next artist’s material. He said that he wanted to know what I thought of it, and his slight grin gave away that I’d be in for a treat. I needed to sober up for the drive home anyway and Dan Deacon, with his table of cracked electronics and Elvis intro music, seemed well suited for the job.
Dan Deacon certainly did seem to like Elvis. He subjected us to “Blue Christmas” on repeat for about 5 times during his opening technical difficulties. Although at the time it was mildly frustrating, it was also somewhat liberating. With each successive play of the song, I felt one more piece of sanity refreshingly slip away. I’m still not sure if he really had technical difficulties or if it was all part of his circus.
Once his battle station was fully operational, Deacon launched into his opening monologue. One-man bandleader and chat show host all rolled into one, Dan proved to be seriously fucking hilarious. He could have carried a night of stand-up comedy just as well as he did an indie show, but then we would have sadly missed out on his electronic mayhem.
Although an Apple Powerbook was present on stage, I think it was only used for playing “Blue Christmas” from iTunes at the start of the gig. It looked a bit stunned, sitting there trying to figure out why its analog grandparents got all the love. Lo-fi, warbly and fast, Deacon’s tunes whipped around the bar like Devo on a case of Red Bull. Hidden within the synthesized discord, however, lived a love of classic rock and roll melody reminiscent of Daniel Miller’s Silicon Teens. Perhaps Dan Deacon is secretly Zombie Elvis, reborn with a vocoder and an itchy finger on the pitch-bender.
Most of Deacon’s inter-song dialogue consisted of what I later learned were his trademark elaborate countdowns. Yeah, in case you’ve never been to a Dan Deacon show, I know it sounds weird, but the dude counts down a lot. I never thought counting could be that much fun, but he seriously makes it into an art form, instructing the audience with painstaking detail on how each countdown is to be specifically performed. If Oscar the Grouch ever starts selling as much meth as my next-door neighbor does, The Children’s Television Workshop should consider Dan as The Count’s successor on Sesame Street.
The best part about Saturday night was how Deacon seemed to be able to fit in any place where people craved fun with open ears. It’s a shame that the Drop Bass Network were run out of every county in Wisconsin by the early 00’s, because if there were ever a breed special enough to play the Massive tent at 2 a.m. and singe already burnt brains with twisted tunes, it’s Dan.
I ducked out before the last band of the night, the Killer Whales, took to the stage, despite another friend of mine urging me to stay the full course. I knew that I would have enjoyed it, but as I’ve said before, I can’t stand the whole 500-bands-in-one-night Fireside Bowl bullshit anymore. Okay, I just checked my notes and it appears that only 4 bands played in total that night (if you count MC Unitard), so I guess that means I’m just too old to stand that long. I’m okay with that. It looks likes Time Out Chicago took care of reviewing their set for me, so I’ll leave you with that article and most likely see you at the Killer Whales’ gig at the Empty Bottle on August 21.
Until then, keep on counting…
(I can’t watch this clip without wanting to go to another Dan Deacon show right fucking now! Magicians foreverrrrrrrr!):
Dan Deacon:
http://www.dandeacon.com
http://www.myspace.com/dandeacon
Ecstatic Sunshine:
http://www.ecstaticsunshine.com
http://www.myspace.com/ecstaticsunshine
In an earlier post I mentioned that I used to DJ on a Chicago-area college radio station. Lately I’ve realized that I miss it. DJing, that is, not the college radio station.
As a means of scratching the itch to mix, I’ve decided to start DJing again. This time, however, instead of lugging a bunch of crap all the way up to Evanston just so that I can broadcast to most of Chicagoland (oooh, aaah), I’m planning on firing up Ableton Live and giving it a go from the home studio, podcast-style. Although it was good fun battling every few months against barely post-adolescent whimsy to have my show renewed, I think I’ll prefer just having to battle my own laziness.
While I work on this new mix, I thought it would be nice for the uninitiated to have a sampling of my past work. I really enjoyed some of the old mixes I did and I think they stand the test of time. I hope you agree.
First up from the archives is a mix from my old radio programme on WNUR-FM, The Sound of Confusion. This mix originally aired on March 7, 2002 and is fairly representative of the chaos that was The Sound of Confusion. Although it was broadcast as part of the WNUR Rock Show, a quick listen should tell you why it didn’t last long there.
Since I can’t be so unceremonious as to start a podcast with one measly show, I’m also giving you episode 19 of the successor to The Sound of Confusion, Discipline, which aired originally on August 19, 2003 from 10-11p.m. While The Sound of Confusion was a programme that mixed anything and everything fluidly, Discipline focused more specifically on electronic music and aired during WNUR’s Streetbeat Show instead of their Rock Show. Similar to the relationship between the Rock Show and my The Sound of Confusion programme, however, Discipline’s controversial sonic nature ensured that its life within Streetbeat’s narrow-minded definition of electronic music would be short.
Both shows are hosted at odeo.com. Stream them here or there or just download the mp3s:
The Sound of Confusion, March 7, 2002
Discipline, Episode 19, August 19, 2003, 10-11p.m
Dig it!
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