Working in Soho, I’m lucky enough to have loads more lunch options than I had working near Tower Bridge. Granted, most of these involve fried eggs and bacon, but you don’t see me complaining. In an attempt to play a healthier hand today, however, I thought I’d try the excellent and wildly popular Jumbo Eats on Brewer Street. As usual, the queue was formidable but, living in England, I pretend to like queues, so I waited.

Music blared from inside and, after about thirty seconds of waiting, my brain pieced together what I was hearing: a horrible dance remix of Wham!’s “Careless Whispers”. I couldn’t even type that last sentence without furrowing my brow in disapproval. The bulk of my mp3 collection consists of sounds most breathing creatures would kindly describe as unlistenable, but a naff disco turn at Wham! brought me to my knees. Surely no wrap made under the influence of Wham! would be fit for human consumption. I wouldn’t even buy cat food made with solo George Michael in the background.

I fled from the horrible saxophone to my familiar cafe around the corner for a trusted parma ham panini. I let Wham! get the better of me. I let Wham! win. The panini, however, was really nice.