Working a 9-to-5 job, one tends to forget how incredibly poor daytime television can be. I can recall one particularly bad spell of unemployment during which the telly I was subject to was so terrible that I was forced to smoke copious amounts of marijuana simply to find it entertaining. Fortunately these days I am gainfully employed, so not only do I have an entirely different set of reasons for self-medication, I also have nothing to chat about with your mum.
Thankfully, my friend Mike introduced me to the Lost In TV website, where anyone can request free tickets to tapings of television and radio programmes in London. Many of these are fantastic, of course. For example, on Monday I’m going to see a taping of an episode of Richard Herring’s radio series, That Was Then, This Is Now. Many of the shows listed on the site, though, I’ve never heard of in my life. As I scrolled past the offerings recently, one gem in particular leapt off the screen at me.
Golden Balls is a game show on ITV hosted by Jasper Carrott in which contestants can… hang on, nevermind. I don’t care what contestants can or can’t do. I don’t even care if there are any prizes. It’s a game show called Golden Balls! And according to its Wikipedia entry, the show’s co-host, Amanda Grant, carries the prestigious title of “Balls Assistant”. Certainly this show was crafted with my puerile sense of humour firmly in mind.
The only thing bothering me, however, is the uncanny resemblance between host Jasper Carrott and horror icon The Tall Man…