On Haters And Dick Riders

A conversation this morning on Twitter with Dave Quam focused largely on the topic of dick riders. Since you can’t have the yin without the yang, I naturally expanded the discussion to include haters. Every city in every country on this planet has haters, but here in Chicago, we have them in abundance. Dave was moaning about all the dick riders in town, but I warned of that far more dangerous threat to life, creativity and general all-around good vibes: haters.

Since Mr. Quam indicated that he’s planning on starting a badass music night soon, I took the opportunity to prepare this graphic for him. It projects the growth of both dick riders and haters across the lifespan of any creative project you may choose to execute. My chart assumes that you’ve got a good idea and you’re executing it well. Don’t worry too much about the haters: due to the principle of Haters Gonna Hate, the number of haters will eventually stabilize and should remain relatively constant throughout the duration of your efforts. Don’t be discouraged if, at one point, it seems like you have more haters than dick riders (note the blue dashed line in the above graphic). Jesus started with only twelve dick riders and look how famous he is now. If you keep on track, your number of dick riders will pick up and hopefully one day approach infinity.

Don’t like dick riders? Good for you! You keep it real. Nevertheless, it is the dick riders that will come to your nights and tell everyone that you’re the man. Dick riders form the foundation of your fanbase. Don’t hate on them. If they really annoy you, simply pay them no mind. Keep on doing what you do best and be thankful someone is interested in your shit.

Now then, anyone know where I can get some dick riders for my photographic work?

Download a larger version of the above graphic (1440 x 900)